Sew What?

I come from a long line of accomplished seamstresses. My granny (she'd kill me if she heard me call her that), my mom, my auntie. Heck, even my sister-in-law and all time bestie, Capooty, is a hard core seamstress. So, one would think that I might be semi-capable of sewing on a few buttons, right?

Wrong.

I normally rule the school when it comes to repairing a stray button or mending a hole, but this weekend I would have shamed my family beyond belief.
It all started when Nordstrom Rack held their "Big Brands" sale. This is basically a sale in which all of their 'brand names" are on the cheap. Call me what you will, but I'm a sucker for a brand name. Not so much because it's a label, but more because it's made well and will last forever. So, I loaded my arms with clothing to try on. After countless trips to the dressing room, I finally decided on purchasing some Dansko clogs ($34.90!) and two pairs of BCBG trousers for work ($18.90 each!). The trousers did need a little help though. Most of the buttons on both waistbands were hanging by a thread. In fact, one of the pairs was missing two buttons. "No biggie", I thought, "I can fix those in a jiffy; how hard can it be?".
I went to Joann Fabrics to pick up a few buttons and came home to set about sewing them on. The first pair went smoothly, no problems at all. But the second pair, the ones with the missing buttons? Have.been.a.pain.in.my.ass. I have sewn the buttons on not once, not twice, but FOUR FREAKING times and they still aren't right!!!!! Three buttons go on the front flap closure and if they aren't lined up just right, the flap will bunch and look lumpy. (And there's also one button that goes on the inside of the waistband for . . . secret closure? Who knows?)
After discovering my fourth attempt was a failure, I ripped the buttons out (no seam ripper, mind you. During this whole debacle I kept telling myself that a seam ripper would really freakin' come in handy thankyouverymuch). I decided that I would mark the trousers one last time. I carefully lined up the button holes and marked where the buttons should be sewn. Then I double checked my work. Everything looks like it's a go.
We'll see.
I'm going to give it one last try and then I'm calling my mom.